August 26, 2013

30 Minutes Or Less

2011 - 0/5

I had NO idea that this movie was based on the following true event:

At 2:28 pm on August 28, 2003, a middle-aged pizza deliveryman named Brian Wells walked into a PNC Bank in Erie, Pennsylvania. He had a short cane in his right hand and a strange bulge under the collar of his T-shirt. Wells, 46 and balding, passed the teller a note. “Gather employees with access codes to vault and work fast to fill bag with $250,000,” it said. “You have only 15 minutes.” Then he lifted his shirt to reveal a heavy, boxlike device dangling from his neck. According to the note, it was a bomb. The teller, who told Wells there was no way to get into the vault at that time, filled a bag with cash — $8,702 — and handed it over. Wells walked out, sucking on a Dum Dum lollipop he grabbed from the counter, hopped into his car, and drove off. He didn’t get far. Some 15 minutes later, state troopers spotted Wells standing outside his Geo Metro in a nearby parking lot, surrounded him, and tossed him to the pavement, cuffing his hands behind his back.
Wells told the troopers that while out on a delivery he had been accosted by a group of black men who chained the bomb around his neck at gunpoint and forced him to rob the bank. “It’s gonna go off!” he told them in desperation. “I’m not lying.” The officers called the bomb squad and took positions behind their cars, guns drawn. TV camera crews arrived and began filming. For 25 minutes Wells remained seated on the pavement, his legs curled beneath him.“Did you call my boss?” Wells asked a trooper at one point, apparently concerned that his employer would think he was shirking his duties. Suddenly, the device started to emit an accelerating beeping noise. Wells fidgeted. It looked like he was trying to scoot backward, to somehow escape the bomb strapped to his neck. Beep… Beep… Beep. Boom! The device detonated, blasting him violently onto his back and ripping a 5-inch gash in his chest. The pizza deliveryman took a few last gasps and died on the pavement. It was 3:18 pm. The bomb squad arrived three minutes later.

So, now that I know this, I can't un-know this. I've seen the video of this true story before, and I didn't exactly find it funny. Whatever decent rating I was going to give this movie went right out the window when I found out it was based on such a terrifying event. Zero.

August 21, 2013

Step Up Revolution

2012
5/5 - dancing + music
0/5 - plot, script, acting

This movie would have been a solid 5/5. Minus the talking. And minus the, what’s being called a ‘plot’.

I really liked the pace of the movie. It didn’t have much of a storyline, so things happened back to back to back, but I didn’t mind because that just meant more dancing and music. I can’t complain because I got what I wanted.

It could have done without all the ‘heartfelt moments’. I don’t understand why movies like this think they need a love story.

It was a good thing the guys were good looking, because they suck at acting.

August 19, 2013

The Baytown Outlaws

2013 - 2.4/5

Other than hearing about it from a coworker I knew nothing about this movie.

I went into this movie blind. I’m hesitant to write a full review because I don’t want to hint at anything. I will say that this movie reminded me of The Boondock Saints… but a ‘Southern’ version.

I had a good time with this movie, and it definitely wasn’t a party until the guns came out. And thankfully, they came out often!

The very first scene is an indicator of what’s to come, so if you decide to watch this movie and don’t like the very first scene, then maybe you should turn it off. If it peaks your curiousity, then keep watching!

If you go into this movie blind like it did, I think you’ll really enjoy it.

The actors definitely looked their part too. (I’ll add more about this later).