Ted

2012 – 1.5/5

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I can tell if I like a movie within the first 20 minutes and I did not like this movie in the first 20 minutes. I got to the point that I started flipping through flyers while watching this.

The only reservation I had going into this movie was Mark Walhberg as John. He looks way older than 35 and him and Mila Kunis don’t make a good couple. The role of John should have been casted differently.

Anyone I had talked to that had seen this movie said it was funny. I was told that if I like Family Guy humor, I will like this movie. And I do like Family Guy. I will also say that this was the typical Family Guy comedy, but a bit more over the top. I would like to add that I didn’t laugh once throughout this entire movie.

It was a little weird having Ted’s voice sound exactly like Peter Griffiths. I can’t say I got used to it by the end. Speaking of voices, Walhberg’s Boston ‘accent’ sucked. It just sounded so bad.

I thought the issues that Lori (Mila Kunis) had with her boss was stupid and added in but didn’t really amount to anything. Donny, the creepy dad and son duo seemed thrown into the movie to add more turmoil, but it was just dumb.

Can you email me for the rest of the movie so I can move it to the trash bin? What a disappointment – thumbs down.

Oh wait! So you’re probably wondering why I gave it a 1.5 instead of a 0 if I didn’t like this movie. Well, the reason why it got 1.5/5 was because of Mila Kunis and because Ted looked really good. The animation for Ted was very well done, and that’s a big reason I actually watched the movie.

Beauty & the Beast

1991 – 4.9/5

Loved this movie. Defiantly in my Top 5 Favourite Disney movies. I wanted to hug the movie.

Watch this awesome video: Beauty & the Beat:

The Cabin in the Woods

2011 - ?/5

Chris Hemsworth is waaaay hotter with shorter hair! Then throw Jesse Williams into the mix leads to :D

The special effects were cool. The editing between scenes was well done.

Aside from what I’ve already said, I really don’t know what to make of this and I am at a loss for words.

25th Hour

2002 - 0/5

I bought this movie a long time ago thinking that I’d like it because I like Edward Norton. I was wrong. Not only did I not like this movie, I hated it! I knew it was supposed to be Brogan’s last 24 hours of freedom before he goes to prison for 7 years and I thought it would be interesting. Again, wrong. When Brogan was ranting to himself in the mirror for 5+ minutes, I just couldn’t take it anymore and turned it off. This movie was boring beyond repair. There could be nothing in this movie to pull it back from tipping over the edge.

Eagle Eye

2008 – 0.7/5

Yes, there are several parts of this movie that are highly unrealistic, but I just wanted to turn my brain off. Some ‘lady’ over the phone controlling lights, fire alarms, electric wires, construction equipment was cool to see, but again, unrealistic. It was pretty dumb that a computer was behind all this. Although most aspects of this movie were questionable, it didn’t really ruin anything for me. My favourite scene had to be when Agent Thomas Morgan (Thornton) was chasing Jerry (Labeouf) and Rachael (Monaghan) in the baggage area.

Shia Lebouf is as cocky as ever. It shows beyond his portrayal as the character. At the end of the day, he is a dam good actor because he draws you into the character. Most of his characters are like this one: he has the same look on his face with the same little bit of shiny spit on the middle of his bottom lip.

I like Billy Bob Thornton in this type of role. He suits a ‘demanding’ person. I don’t know anything about Michelle Monaghan, but she did an okay job with her character.

I was in the mood to watch a mindless action movie and that’s what I got. It was kind of a mix between Wanted and The Bourne Trilogy, but not as good as either.

The Dark Knight Rises

2012 – 2.9/5

***SPOILERS***

This is probably going to sound weird but I don’t have a lot to say about this movie. I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t love it. I’m stuck in between, hence the 2.9/5 rating.

This is going to have to be a semi-point form review.

The very first scene is one plane dragging the other in mid air and that was VERY cool. I had never seen that happen in any other movie and it just looked very cool.

I’m not one to care for superhero-movie-gadget’s which is probably why I didn’t find the vehicles that Batman used cool (the Bat and his motorcycle), but the effects in general were done very well. I’m glad that this movie was 2D; I don’t think 3D would have added anything.

Every single police officer in Gotham going underground and getting stuck for 3 months was just absurd and stupid.

It was established right at the start that Bruce Wayne/Batman was off his game and has been for a while. I liked that he was mentally broken down. You never see superhero’s that down and out. I have never seen a superhero that crushed. I liked Christian Bale more in this movie than I did in The Dark Knight. Maybe because his Batman voice annoyed me less.

I loved Alfred every time he was on screen. His lines were probably my favourite.

Anne Hathaway was sly and it suited her more than I thought it would. I wasn’t a fan of who I thought Selina Kyle/Catwoman would be from the trailer, but she turned out to be more cunning than what the trailer shows.

I became a fan of Tom Hardy after having watched Warrior. I thought he was jacked up enough for that movie, but boy did he get bigger for this role. I can’t say that I didn’t like Bane, but I didn’t really love him either. I know this will sound odd, because he was one of the major characters in this movie, but for me, he was just there. I hated his voice and I went in and out of understanding what he was saying the entire movie. I didn’t like the mask on his face, although it did remind me of Scorpion and Sub-Zero’s mask from Mortal Kombat (which for the record, I loved).

It may be obvious considering I added a picture of Joseph Gordon Levitt in this blog, but he was my favourite character by far. At the end when he said his birth name was Robin, I got all giddy. I had never liked Robin as a child, but I would LOVE to see JGL be in a movie as Robin. He is an incredible actor and I think that he would do a great job as a superhero! It literally brings a smile to my face when I think of JGL as Robin :D.

It was a good movie, just not one that cared for. Nothing lost, nothing gained.

The Bourne Legacy

2012 – 1/5

I was a bit apprehensive going into this movie. The Bourne Trilogy is one of the very few movie series I actually like and although I try not to go into any movie with any expectations, I couldn’t help it. The Bourne Identity, Supremacy and Ultimatum were all very solid movies, so the idea of a 4th movie seemed a bit iffy to me. I was unsure how the director would be able to create a movie that would have the same vibe and intensity as the first 3. I was skeptical with regards to how the director would build on the previous movies and whether or not The Bourne Legacy would could uphold the expectations I had.

I think I’ll start this review with the things I liked about it, and why it got a 1, rather than a 0.

When I first heard that Matt Damon would not be the main character in this movie, that worried me because I thought that Jeremy Renner would be replacing Damon as Jason Bourne. When I found out that Renner wasn’t replacing Damon as Bourne and that he was a ‘new’ character, I was still worried because Damon wouldn’t be in it. Needless to say, I didn’t have any issues with his acting. Renner’s acting was great as usual. If I could have picked anyone to come into the Bourne series, it would have been him. I think Renner has proved himself as a good actor, especially in action-flicks. So, Renner wasn’t the weakest link in this movie – in fact, he was the strongest. I will also add here that I really liked Edward Norton’s performance as well (I don’t really care to expand on that).

Second thing I liked about this movie, which I’ll admit, can be considered a minute detail, but a detail I liked nevertheless was that part of it was set in the Philippines. The viewer got to see a country that Jason Bourne hadn’t been to. Don’t get me wrong, I loved seeing the European countries, Russia, India, ect, but seeing a different setting was cool.

So if the only things I liked about this movie was Renner/Renner’s acting, Norton, and the setting, well, I think it’s obvious what I didn’t like: the rest of the movie. And this really sucks because I really wanted to like this movie.

When it comes to the plot, I’d have to say that it was a bit simple (yet very jumbled) compared to Identity, Supremacy and Ultimatum. It was slow-paced, again, compared to the other 3 because there was a lot more talking than action. The storyline wasn’t as interesting as the trilogy that came before it.

Right from the beginning, this movie wasn’t captivating. It was boring. Aaron Cross (Renner) was in a cold mountainous area and as he was trekking through I kept thinking “so what’s the point of this”. And who knows how long later when you’re told the point, it means nothing to you. All that time was spent to show the audience that Cross beat the record by 2 days and that he’s that good. And correct me if I’m wrong, but it seemed as if it wasn’t Bourne’s record, it was that guy in the cabin; so does that imply that Cross isn’t as good as Bourne? Rhetorical question. Of course Cross isn’t. I think the Cross character was over done – I really didn’t see him as much of a threat compared to Bourne.

This takes me to the part that bugged me the most about this movie; so even if Cross is that good, he was only able to do it because he had to take 2 pills every couple of hours. Jason Bourne did not need to take pills to be as awesome as he was. So what it comes down to is Cross would suck without taking the pills. And this is supposed to be the next Jason Bourne? Bullshit! So what we have here is some guy that’s addicted to pills as our new super spy. And I say ‘addicted’ because he WAS!. When Cross first meet up with Dr Marta Shearing (Rachel Weisz) he was freaking out like an addict in need of a his/her next fix. So there we have it, our next Jason Bourne is a druggie – what a legacy.

A few other points I want to make:
-I did not like the script. The conversations were boring and didn’t have an impact on the viewer.
-The action was dull and it’s not like this movie had a lot of it.
-There were several parts in which intense music was added but was completely unnecessary. I think it had the opposite effect it was supposed to have.
-The love story was forced and seemed so typical and cheesy. There was no chemistry between Cross and Dr Shearing as characters or Renner and Weisz as actors.
-When flashbacks were added in TBI, TBS and TBU, eventually the viewer got to know why, but in TBL, they were never explained or expanded on. This also made it longer than it should have been.

I haven’t seen the movie Limitless, but from what I’ve gathered it’s about some guy that takes a pill and gets enhanced abilities. I bring this up because, in all honesty I think that The Bourne Legacy should be renamed to Limitless 2 and have nothing to do with the other Bourne movies. As far as I’m concerned, the Bourne series ended at Ultimatum.

I know I’ve made a lot of comparisons to Identity, Supremacy and Ultimatum, but I can’t help it. There was a lot of mystery, tension and intensity in each of those movies. They all started out fast and ended with Bourne coming out on top. The Bourne Legacy had none of that. When I heard the ‘Bourne theme song’ at the end of TBL, I died inside. This movie didn’t deserve to end with that music we have all come to love.

If this movie wasn’t a part of the Bourne installment, then my review would have been a lot different. I still probably wouldn’t have liked it, but it would have been different. There had to be some expectations being a Bourne movie, and frankly it falls short.

The Bourne Trilogy

The Bourne Ultimatum 

2007 – 3.6/5

Going into this movie, I have to admit that I didn’t remember a single thing that happened. I remembered a lot more of the first 2, but couldn’t even remember anything that happened in this since I first saw it back in 2007. I decided that I wouldn’t even read the synopsis on the back and once the movie was over, I was happy I didn’t. Although the description on the back never gives anything away, I just didn’t want to know anything.

Again, like the first and second, it had great car chases and well choreographed fights. The pace of this movie, as well as TBI and TBS were fantastic. There was never a slow moment in any of the movies.

***SPOILER ALERT***
I was blindsided when at 1:20 minutes in, you realize that what has happened up until then was occurring during the second movie. It seems like a very hard task to do such a thing but I think it made TBU blend into TBS better.

The Bourne Supremacy 

2004 – 3.8/5

It starts off with Jason and Maria in the middle of the night and Bourne is still struggling with his past and the fact that he still can’t put all the pieces of the puzzle together. Although he is still sorting through his past, it seems as if he’s laid low and been able to hide pretty well. With the killing of 2 CIA agents, the pot gets stirred again because Bourne is being blamed.

Again, like the first he doesn’t really know why people are after him and this time, a Russian mob (?) is after him too! This movie sends chills down your spine. I will say that I liked this a bit more than the first and that rarely happens. The fight scenes in this on were a bit more up-close, but still very good and the car chases were pretty good too.

Although Julia Stiles was in the first one, she had a bigger role in this. I think this was her best role ever. The character suited her and she suited the character. Very well done.

The Bourne Identity

2002 – 3.7/5

Right from the get-go we’re intrigued because Matt Damon doesn’t even know who he is. We only know as much as he does and we’re learning more as the movie goes along. These types of movies always seem to remain suspenseful because you really can’t guess what would happen next. Damon doesn’t know who is running from and why, so he is surprised just as much as the viewer. This movie defiantly keeps you on your toes.

This is a very action-packed movie. There are some really good-looking fight scenes and it had a lot of them; each of them being different from the one before. The fight with the second assassin was really good. It had a good car chase down narrow streets packed with cars and on-coming traffic. – some really good camera angles from within other cars during the chase. Good music that went along with what was on screen.

Clive Owen looks like a creeper and this movie is probably the only time I’ve ever liked him. Also because he had a small role.

I really liked the addition of Maria. It was nice that Bourne had someone on his side because I was rooting for him so it was nice to see that someone in the movie was in his corner.

I had never been much of a fan of Matt Damon before this movie, but dam, he was amazing as Jason Bourne! Great performance.

I loved how it ended.

Joy Ride

2001 – 2.2/5

I remember loving this movie the first couple of times I saw it, and I do like it, but I don’t remember it being so cheesy! For what this movie is supposed to be, I think it delivers.

Once the plot picks up, it is pretty good and it remains pretty suspenseful, but still, quite cheesy. None of it is really believable, so that took away from the ‘scary factor’.

I have never been a fan of Leelee Sobieski or Steve Zahn. I think the trio of Sobieski, Zahn and Paul Walker worked well. Walker and Zahn were believable as brothers even though the character development was forced and not that great. The characters were dumb and I didn’t really like any of them.

The screenplay had to be the worst part of this movie. The jokes sucked and the dialogue overall was the cheesiest part of this movie.

I can see younger kids liking this movie and thinking it’s really good, but I think it’s okay. Last thing I want to mention is that Paul Walker is hot :)