The Visitor

2007 – 1/5

I like Richard Jenkins and I heard a few good reviews when it first came out, so I decided to watch it on my night in.

Yes, I did just say I like Jenkins, but I do have to say that all the characters were kind of boring. The first interaction between Walter and Tarek/Zainab was rushed, and it didn’t do a good job at allowing the viewer truly feel as if there was a connection created right off the bat (same goes with Walter and Mouna AND Zainab and Mouna).

I didn’t really catch if there was a point to this movie, aside from portraying the illegal immigrant issue from the point of view of a Caucasian guy that befriends a Syrian guy and his Senagalian(?) girlfriend. At the end of the day, they were illegal immigrants… fyi, I’m not a fan of the shitty treatment they receive.

How pointless was it to add a snobby, ignorant Caucasian lady, just for the sake of saying that she was in some city in South Africa, hundreds of miles away from Zainab’s home country, Senegal. Again, another example of grasping for straws, but failing to make it meaningful.

You could tell the director was trying to add a lot of sentiment between characters, but everything seemed too easy. There was a clear attempt to make a beautiful story with the content, but it just ended up being a ‘so what’ movie.

I originally gave this movie a 2, but as I was writing my review, I began to like it less and less. I don’t see myself watching this movie ever again. It doesn’t have any repeat value. I might recommend people it to certain people, but I’ve seen it once, and once is enough.

The Descendants

2011 - 4/5
I actually saw this on March 20th, but because it was Disney movie month, I didn't want to post it then.

Thank you The Descendants. I now want to go to Hawaii more than ever!

I remember when this movie first came out in 2011, I had no interest in seeing it. I have never really been a George Clooney fan; got nothing against him, just that I’ve never cared. I was in a particular mood when I decided that this movie would suit that mood. Needless to say, it was the exact kind of movie I wanted to watch.

There was something about Clooney’s voice over narration at the beginning that drew me in. The line “Paradise can go fuck itself” sold it for me. Again, it could have been the mood I was in because I had never cared for Clooney before, but right from the get go, I was on board.

This movie struck a cord with me. When I try to pinpoint the reason as to why I liked this movie so much, the answer is obvious: the script! There was a perfect balance of voice over narration and dialogue from the characters themselves. The narration was very fitting for the overall tone and vibe of the movie. What needed to be narrated was, and what needed to be said by the characters was as well. The actual script itself was solid. It was very precise and to the point, while also being very relatable. Pretty much every line had purpose and made you think. I’ll list a few of my favourite quotes at the end of the review.

This movie had a very simple plot; and that’s why I think it worked so well. What could be more simple than a movie about a guy dealing with actual life problems! Matt King (Clooney) is a lawyer who owns a huge chunk of Hawaiian land (which is brothers/cousins want to sell). His wife was in a major boating accident and he is left taking care of his 2 daughters. According to himself, he’s “the backup parent. The understudy”. He doesn’t know how to deal with his daughters and this movie is about him trying to reconnect with them.

Aside from saying that Clooney did a great job as Matt, and that Shailene Woodley did a good job as Alexandra, I don’t have much else to say about the acting. The actors looked their part.

Overall, I think the script is what makes this movie. It keeps you highly entertained, which doesn’t seem easy, because the movie is about a guy who is dealing with problems that any human can go through in their lifetime. I would recommend this to everyone, but I feel as if some people may appreciate it more than others.

Side note: watching George Clooney run made me laugh :p

QUOTES:
“I don't want my daughters growing up entitled and spoiled. And I agree with my father: you give your children enough money to do something, but not enough to do nothing”

“A family seems exactly like an archipelago. All part of the same hole. But still separate and alone. And always drifting apart”

“Whoa. Easy there half pipe”

Mama

2013 - 0/5
I actually saw this on March 12th, but because it was Disney movie month, I didn't want to post it then.

I’m having issues getting my thoughts out. I know I didn’t like the movie, but I can’t put it into words. I think my biggest problem with this movie was the plot. First off, it was dumb. It was SO dumb. I tried to write out a quick summary, but I just can’t. It’s just ridiculous. From here on, I plan on adding bits and pieces of IMDB reviewers reviews that will convey how I feel about this movie.

“”I'm absolutely astounded by the amount of praise this film is getting from critics and audiences.”

“Let's add another crappy pg-13 horror movie to the ever growing unfortunate list of crappy pg-13 horror movies shall we.”

“…you see Mama and all of her computer generated glory. She looks like a distorted Sarah Jessica Parker but far less scary than the real SJP. Its really hard to be scared of something that looks so unreasonably fake!”

“The plot that seemed original in the beginning turns out to be as generic as possible and one really lame ass ghost story.”

“Nothing in the film makes to much sense. There seems to be no logical reason for anything to be happening.”

“There is also a lot of plot holes. The ghost for example is clearly a good one at the start of the film. It protected and cared for the two kids for five years straight and it killed one guy, a man that was about to kill them. Not actually evil there. But then she goes evil because...? Well the film suggests that she's jealous of the new parents. But if that's the case, why does she wait so long to strike? Her power seems endless at the end of the film. It would of been nice if she had a motive because you can't simply say she's evil due to her literally saving the kids lives. Oh, and did I mention she spends most of the film trying to find her lost baby only to destroy the things bones? Why? Beats me. It's just random.”

“…the rest of this film is an absolute mess of clichés and underwritten characters.”

“The Annabel character also makes no sense.”

“By introducing her via a negative home pregnancy test celebration, followed by a brief exploration of her career as a beer-swilling bassist in a punk rock brand, audiences are immediately made to see Annabel as a nihilist toward the responsibility of being a parent. As the film progresses, it's totally transparent that her attachment toward the girls will grow and her newly found maternal instincts will keep her from running out the door. ”

“It was painfully obvious that whoever wrote this movie had no freaking idea how to end it.”

“90 minutes of your life is far to important to waste on this rubbish”

“This is truly a horrendous film and a total waste of Hollywood resources. To even associate Guillermo del Toro's (Pan's Labyrinth) name to this project is insulting and misleading.”